Archives for posts with tag: George Clooney

We are at the lake house.  The little dog and I.  Yesterday a fire department helicopter arrived and scooped up water and flew away.

This is not a very good video.

I am still content and centered although I feel a bit apprehensive.  Next months appearance at court.

I really don’t want to see Jake.

The nasty little troll dragging me back into his mediocre, dreadful world.

Fuck!  Why did he ever contact me?  Why me?  Why did he choose me of all people to come out to?

What a selfish, self obsessed pig he was.  Throwing me into his shit pit.

He created this mess.  Let’s face it…if he hadn’t stalked me with his lies and deception we wouldn’t be here now.   He had many gay friends, his boss was gay for goodness sake.  He had been hooking up with Pal for over a year, Jake could have had Pal help with the process…God only knows, from what he described, Pal tried to help Jake.

I let him into my life.  No amount of due diligence could have forewarned me.

The problem is that Jake is far too un-evolved to accept his part in this drama.  He wants to blame me for his shortcomings.

I wrote to his lawyer offering a mutually binding solution but Jake has obviously shucked his fake ‘timid’ facade and revealed his recently grown balls.

He wants to fight in court…so be it.

His lawyer, (refers to himself as George Clooney on his laughable website) has still not sent any evidence.

The problem with Jake is:  he has lived two lives for so long.  Lied to everyone he knows.  Ultimately he got away with it.  Hurting her.  She probably forgave him.  Poor Jake.  His world split asunder.

Let’s feel sorry for the scum bag.  That doesn’t sound like I mean it? Ha!

I don’t want to be angry with him.  I really don’t.  It doesn’t get me anywhere.

Will you help me?  Can you all help?  We could pray for him, forgive him, wish him all the best.

I prefer this option.

My prayer, whenever I am forced to think about him:  God, please help Jake be happy, let him succeed, help him be truthful, make his dreams come true.

God, please let Jake find love, a healthy relationship, a sober life.


Guess who I received a long letter from yesterday when I got back from the Emmy do at SHLA?  Yes, you guessed it…Jake. What a smarmy bastard..of course he couldn’t just let it all go.  He couldn’t leave me alone.  He had to reach out.  Just as I was NOT thinking about him, getting right with our situation.  DAMN.  I was in such a positive mood.

I went to bed feeling all confused and mushy again.  Thinking all manner of absurd things.

He timidly suggested that we don’t meet for the time being.  How about we never EVER meet?   Why don’t you just fuck off and lean on some of your other friends like you lent on me for support?  They’ll get sick of you too, bleating and moaning and missing her.

So, why was he writing?   He asked for his full name to be removed from the blog which I did ..then I re-read his letter.  It was all about him.  Blah fucking blah about his coming out and how much I meant to him.  Bullshit.  If I had meant anything to him he wouldn’t have contacted me.  Not once did he enquire about my continuing health problem..not once.  The more I thought about it the more annoyed I became.

He asked after the ‘darling’ little dog which nearly made me PUKE.

So, I called him and left a long message on his phone.  I told him never ever to contact me again.  That his mate had emailed me from Mt. Kisco to tell me that he was laughing at me with Jake and other friends behind my back.  That I hated him.  I wanted him to hear my voice.  That I meant what I was saying.  That I am serious.  Like when you call your dealer and tell them to lose your number.  Like when you tell your friends that you are not coming out for a drink.

The funny thing was he didn’t want to demonize me..well Jake, that’s very reassuring.   I am having NO TROUBLE demonizing YOU.

So annoying!  I had been really getting my head together.

Saw George Clooney, said Hi.  He seemed to remember me from the evening Sharon introduced us at Chateau Marmont.

Had dinner with Toby at Pace..his steak cost $50.  My soup $8.  I drew these:


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