Sometimes blogging can be a big pain in the ass.

I want to make a few things clear about my comment mediation.  Firstly, I want to say thank you to every one of you who take the time to comment on my blog-some of you very generously.  I learn a great deal from the comments and if I ever have any sort of problem I can count on my readers to provide solution.

I don’t publish every comment.

I don’t publish comments that are racist, homophobic or could cause distress to others.  I often publish comments that are critical of me and in the interest of fairness I will continue to do so.

This morning I received a comment tagged to the blog FULL DISCLOSURE (March 13th) that went something like this:

“You were not with a married man. You were with a shithead named Jake Bauman who should have broke it off with his girlfriend of 8 years after you fucked him (or attempted but could not?) in 2007. Stop screening your posts. Coward.

Obviously I have removed my friend’s name for the sake of the accused.

Firstly, this was not the only email that I received claiming that the married man referred to in FULL DISCLOSURE was known to the reader.  I received three totally separate claims about the man.  In all instances they were wrong.

Dear readers you know me well enough that if I wanted you to know that I had been with a married man I would not dress it up in the third person-I would tell you directly and honestly.  I have no secrets with any of you.  None.

Remember too that I commit to no longer living in Shame, Resentment or Fear but when they beset me I tell you-my readers.

Contrary to the rather badly written comment I like to think of myself as very brave indeed!  In my opinion cowardly people make anonymous accusations – like me having slept with some girl’s bf in 2007.   I did not.  I would gladly admit it if I had.  I am rather too eager to admit any indiscretion.

Regarding the life he lead before January I really don’t have an opinion about his behavior.

Whilst being the other in a break up is often the least sympathized role-shit happens.  I have no idea if the man I have started to befriend is going to develop into anything substantial-one day at a time is my philosophy.   (I rather think that I am merely the conduit for the rest of his gay life.)  For the time being we are having a nice time and it is none of my concern who he has left behind him.  Relationships end, and one might consider that had he not heeded my warning and married his girlfriend they would be in a much worse state than they are now several years down the line.

There is often so much unnecessary recrimination when a relationship ends.   I suggest that we own the pain, deal with the grief, learn from our mistakes and move on.

One of the great lessons of my life has been this:  EVERYTHING I JUDGE I WALK THOUGH.  Everything I judge I walk though.  Whilst I may have opinions about the behavior of others if I stand in judgment I am prone to make the same mistakes as those I have judged.   Those who seem so eager to judge my friend not only lack compassion but will eventually make the same sort of mistakes.  It is very easy to anonymously call a man a shit head or a coward and yet by doing so anonymously one may be thought of as cowardly and shit headed?  What do my readers think?

Lastly, the friend who told his wife of 20 years the truth-she has gone into rehab to deal with the trauma.

Sad, but there you go.