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Runyon. 6am. Cloudy. The sun breaking through over down town. Luna’s first walk up the canyon. She’s just an 8-month pit mix puppy. She is white with amber eyes. Her elegant pink rabbit ears stand proud from her pretty face. Not at all house trained we are in the beginning stages of teaching her how to piss out side, not jump up, stay focused on my call, poo in the grass and not on the side walk. A great deal of work, yet, I must admit, I love it.

She is a really happy dog and I hate having to discipline her but Pit Bull (whether mixed or not) tends toward willfulness. It is for her own safety that I firmly make the boundaries clear showing her love when she gets things right or learns another lesson.

They are sleeping now after their long walk. We are going up to Malibu this afternoon to walk more.

With Luna on my mind I had little time to process the events of the past few days.

I have not been looking at pornography, masturbating outside of my plan nor objectifying. As odd as this sounds to most people it is very freeing for me.

Jennie flew off to New York yesterday, which leaves a great gaping hole in my life. She really is a good friend and we are honest with each other in ways I could have only hoped to dream. Her dog and Luna didn’t get on very well when they first met which caused some anxiety.

I am having a great deal of what next thoughts. I have no idea what life holds for me but really, in many ways that is none of my business.

Earlier this year I fell for someone but kind of fucked it up-like I do. I really don’t know how to make relationships work. I have such huge expectations. Expectations are, as we all know, resentments waiting to happen.

Saw The Road last night with Justin which I really hated. Post apocalyptic USA. So bleak! Could humanity be so after a disaster? Eating each other? Hunting each other? No hope. No order of any kind. Are we really prone to this? Were the dark ages like this? No. That was a myth.

The rise of archaeology in the 20th century has shed much light on the “Dark Ages” and offered a more nuanced understanding of its positive developments. Other terms of periodization have come to the fore: Late Antiquity, the Early Middle Ages, and the Great Migrations, depending on which aspects of culture are being emphasized. When modern scholarly study of the Middle Ages arose in the 19th century, the term “Dark Ages” was at first kept, with all its critical overtones. On the rare occasions when the term “Dark Ages” is used by historians today, it is intended to be neutral, namely, to express the idea that the events of the period often seem “dark” to us because of the paucity of artistic and cultural output, including historical records, when compared with both earlier and later times.

The Road was a living hell. It betrays us all. Insisting that at our very heart we are only capable of cruelty and selfishness. It is reductive and inchoate. As a filmmaker I really wanted so much more from the father son relationship. I wanted more. The father sentimentally making his son visit what ‘was’. Stealing him away from the safe bunker. Teaching him how to be cruel. I didn’t bother sticking around for the director interview afterwards. I left Justin there. With one bullet left in the gun this film was left irritatingly unresolved.  I loathe hopeless movies.