I spent most of last week staying with friends on Fire Island.
The Island community has all but vanished for the season. I spent my time writing and rewriting the script… exploring abandoned holiday houses and taking pictures of them.
I walked most days to the Canteen, a little coffee shop, and sat with a dwindling cast of island stragglers.
When I returned to the city I moved into my glorious apartment on Gramercy Park.
I am having a very Manhattan experience. Doormen, broken elevators, great views, little old lady neighbours.
The best thing about this apartment? It’s so damned cheap.
Returned to see Rufus Wainwright and support a friend’s charity.
I hung at SPiN with Franck and ate sliders and spicy chicken.
I was invited to the RRL Motorcycle party and sank into a mire of Americana.
Occasionally I would take the L to Brooklyn and see old friends.
All in all it has been a very easy return to Manhattan. Heading East. Heading in the right direction.
At some point I walked the dogs and eventually I made it to my bed.
There is a week of mayhem to report. A week of extraordinary conduct. A week of moving back east.
I can’t show you his face.
Only in NYC.
Then, I meet a woman who KNOWS all about my film. I mean, she knows the story like an urban myth. But it’s not a myth. It’s the sad truth.
“Oh, I know this story,” she said. Her eyes sparkling with anticipation. ”I think he’s my friend on Facebook. Yes, look…” she pulls out her smart phone and there he is. I push the phone away. I shouldn’t be looking at that.
“What was he thinking?” she roars with laughter.
Women love my film. It confirms everything they think they know about men. The injustice of men.
Dead five-year olds. 20 of them.
The children are shot dead by a crazed, entitled white boy. The little bodies buried this week. Lined up against the wall and executed. You know they didn’t have a clue. You know they did as they were told.
I thought about the little dog facing the lethal injection.
A horrific pendant: ten Afghan children are splattered into the mud by a drone.
Somehow their little brown faces are missing from the media. Somehow the little white children in Connecticut are worth more.
We asked you to vote for him, now he’s letting us down all over again. Surprise, fucking surprise.
I saw a man being mugged on the 5 train. Into Manhattan, a stealthy, tall, nimble black man rips an iPhone 4s out of an asian man’s hands leaving him with his ear phones on his head. The rest of us sat amazed.
The white people urged him to call the police but he said, “I’m already late for work.”
I’m buying a parker. It’s lined with blood-red shearling. Like the monkey they found in Ikea.
Dinner in the neighborhood, dinner at the Mercer Kitchen with Courtney, dinner at the Standard Grill with Brock.
Dinner with Cristina who I have not seen for 30 years on the floor of her palatial Upper East Side home. It was as if all those 30 years just melted away. That we were friends again from last week. Funny, compelling, brilliant, beautiful Cristina.
Dinner with new gay AA friends in cheap diners.
Dinner at Mary’s Fish Camp with Benoit. We stop at Boxers (gay bar) on the way home. There’s nothing for us. Benoit peels off leaving me on the street and as I wait for the green light a handsome green eyed man says hello.
At first I wonder why. Why is this stunningly handsome 27-year-old man saying hello to me.
Then we’re in Barracuda kissing each other.
I’m wearing that huge fur hat.
I can’t kiss him any more. I can’t suck any more spit out of his mouth. I can’t look into his green eyes.
I am so overwhelmed by him I walk through the rain until I am soaked to the skin. Wondering how it happens? Wondering how it ends up like this?
All the way home I’m humming Nature Boy to myself.
In the morning my room smells of damp fur.
New York bound. Virgin America. Everybody very polite. The Rasta gentleman that I was originally sat next to smelt of cocaine. The last time I smelt anything so repulsive was on Mike Elling’s breath at Jake and Rudi’s gayfest in Palm Springs.
Feeling very grumpy. Wondering what the heck I am doing travelling East. None of the reasons I thought were spectacular last week are spectacular any more. Nobody is picking me up from the airport even though I ferry people back and forth from LAX. They’ll be no more ferrying. I thought I was seeing my friend on Sunday but he has reneged until Monday. Oh Bollocks. As we say in England. Bloody Bollocks.
The rain that fell over LA last night was truly torrential. We woke up to mudslides, smashed cars, and trashcans hurtling like torpedoes in two feet of storm water. It was rather exciting. I quite like a big storm to take my mind off the internal storm that rages within. None of the people I am visiting this weekend are entirely appropriate for me to be visiting. I have huge, overblown expectations and, as I described in my last post, I become closed down and broken the moment I experience any of the heady ‘love’ emotions.
I may very well just go to 12 step meetings with my friend Alexi and fuck the rest.
The most rewarding aspect to this lightening visit to NYC is the price of the plane ticket $98. Very good value considering a taxi from JFK to Manhattan will be $45. I may very well spite myself and take the sky train into NYC thereby risking a million questions from random civilians about Kari-Ann et al. Actually, that’s not fair. I get asked about Drew. What’s he like etc. I think they are rather disappointed to hear that he just a really sweet, empathetic guy.
With the great snowstorm comes the economic shit storm. The markets are tanking. Nobody is telling the truth. Everybody looking to the ‘stock markets’ to see how a few miserable gamblers are reacting to world events. It’s like hanging around the slot machines in Vegas trying to divine economic policy. This country has been raped by a few cruelly greedy men who refuse the sanctioning of infra structure investment, who refuse to answer questions about who exactly has benefitted from all the money spent fighting dubious ‘wars’ in Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan. Who go on threatening the taxpayer with the threat of further bailouts? Good God, what has happened to this great country? Even the government, with a visionary like Obama at the helm, needs a fucking hip replacement to take one step forward.
Apart from their irrational hatred of Obama and their homophobia I have a great deal of sympathy with the Tea Partiers. Even though they are morbidly inarticulate in most instances they perfectly describe my frustration with government. Even though they refuse to use these words, they know that their money has been misappropriated. Stolen. They want to know where the money went, why it went there and when the American taxpayer is going to get it back.
At the same time those weirdo tea party people are terrified of healthcare for all, which just totally baffles me.
3 more hours on this bumpy plane heading over the great white planes of Middle America.