An interesting week.
In between the oysters and pizza at Gjelina and early nights in Hollywood the whole gay world went mad, mad, mad.
In less time than it takes to come up on Bath Salts the lives and sex culture of many powerful gay men in Hollywood changed dramatically. For many rich, older gays (many more than named in this weeks lawsuit) the present culture of sexual freedom operating beyond the long arm of the law… ended.
The unfettered and often illegal actions those same gay men were used to getting away with… ceased.
From now on they would have to think twice before they did things their heterosexual equals had long understood needed kept secret… they want equality? They got it. No longer would my straight male friends envy our sexual ‘freedoms’. Formerly operating in the shadow of society where they could get away with anything… the gays must learn to live in the light. We must face the responsibility of equality.
As the Brian Singer scandal gained traction so the true colors of the gay community revealed themselves… unsurprisingly they were not the colors of the rainbow flag.
The first flush of reaction from the gays was very favorable toward Brian rather than his accuser. The gays huffed and puffed about the boy not being a boy, that he must have known what he was getting himself into and generally blaming the victim for his prepubescent naivety. My Bryan Singer blog piece went viral and Egan (who alleges rape) named three other predators… one of them being Garth Ancier who was once a Facebook friend.
I realized that even tho ‘everyone knew’ about Bryan and his hedonistic mates indulging in the joys of young flesh… this is what the gays aspired to. They wanted what he had, the parties, the money, the drugs and the sex. Bryan, they concluded, was living the gay dream.
I spoke with Lucas who writes the well read blog WeHo Confidential.
Even though Lucas had written terrible things about the gays and their behavior in his blog and, he boasted, the gay mafia lived in fear of photographs of their parties ending up on his site he reassured me that his blog wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, it was ‘a game’… he explained. Lucas was shocked that anyone was taking Egan seriously, that the wider world might now have a negative opinion about his ‘friend Bryan’.
The opinion from the ‘wider world’, as it turns out, is mixed. Many news outlets are covering the story tentatively because they don’t want to be accused of homophobia. They don’t want to get it wrong or upset their homo-collegues. Gay news proprietors are trying to treat this gay tabloid story as they would a straight tabloid story but their readers think them traitors.
Even though Lucas is loathed by most of the people I mention in my blog he stood up for Bryan, supported him against the allegations. This support was not unusual. The support Bryan receives from the gays sounds much like the support Sandusky got from Penn State. The support the pedophile priests got from their reeling congregation. Mostly the gays are in shock that their behavior could be considered wrong. The sex laws somehow, they squealed, didn’t apply to us. Fucking a 15-year-old wasn’t pedophilia they scoffed. It’s fun! Don’t shame us!
The truth is: many of us had sex willingly with older men when we were teenagers, jail bait… and we liked it. We wanted more of it. Most gays can’t understand why Egan is complaining. After all, he got to hang with celebs, taken on a private jet and take all the drugs he could manage.
Most gay men can’t really get their heads around the reality of man/man rape. It’s a mystery to them. Rape is what happens to women or closeted straight men who can’t face the truth about their anal experience. Dorothy Parker once said about a woman she knew, “She spoke ten languages but couldn’t say no in any of them.” The gays think that once naked, once kissed… I mean, what’s the point of saying no?
Gay men, don’t understand man/man rape or how to say no.
On Wednesday I was hounded by Buzzfeed to tell what I knew about Bryan but generally I kept myself to my blog. The comments section on Gawker lit up with the usual kind of screaming homo hate I have long been used to. They claimed I was a hypocrite for discrediting Bryan when I have a 25-year-old boyfriend. The difference being? My boyfriend and I have monogamous consensual sex and have done for the past 8 months.
In other news, my old buddy Dustin Lance Black hit the headlines again this week because his former college in Pasadena thought it inappropriate for an ex student who took pictures of himself having anal sex without a condom lecture their students. Black cries Homophobia and Shame… another entitled white gay men who lives beyond the consequences of his actions.
I mentioned this to one of the bone fide journalists I met with this week. We laughed. He asked why I wanted to get involved… why I wanted to share my own story of gay Hollywood, knowing how unpopular my opinions are to my fellow tribes members.
I told him this:
When I was 8 years old I ran away from home, away from my abusive father. When the police caught up with me I told them what was going on. They took me home and told me if I ever repeated those allegations against my powerful and well-respected father they would fall on me ‘like a ton of bricks’. This terrible injustice shaped my view of authority. After the policeman left I suffered 6 more years of merciless brutality… in silence.
The gays have no sympathy for the abused because they have always felt abused, they say: Suck it up, stop complaining, boo hoo. They have learned to forget their miserable past, their bullies, their abusive parents. They have learned to ignore what I refuse to ignore… that things must change… and the only way that is going to happen?
We talk about the abuse/rape/pedophilia… we go on talking about it until it stops.
Until we can learn to say no without shame.