We are at the lake house.  The little dog and I.  Yesterday a fire department helicopter arrived and scooped up water and flew away.

This is not a very good video.

I am still content and centered although I feel a bit apprehensive.  Next months appearance at court.

I really don’t want to see Jake.

The nasty little troll dragging me back into his mediocre, dreadful world.

Fuck!  Why did he ever contact me?  Why me?  Why did he choose me of all people to come out to?

What a selfish, self obsessed pig he was.  Throwing me into his shit pit.

He created this mess.  Let’s face it…if he hadn’t stalked me with his lies and deception we wouldn’t be here now.   He had many gay friends, his boss was gay for goodness sake.  He had been hooking up with Pal for over a year, Jake could have had Pal help with the process…God only knows, from what he described, Pal tried to help Jake.

I let him into my life.  No amount of due diligence could have forewarned me.

The problem is that Jake is far too un-evolved to accept his part in this drama.  He wants to blame me for his shortcomings.

I wrote to his lawyer offering a mutually binding solution but Jake has obviously shucked his fake ‘timid’ facade and revealed his recently grown balls.

He wants to fight in court…so be it.

His lawyer, (refers to himself as George Clooney on his laughable website) has still not sent any evidence.

The problem with Jake is:  he has lived two lives for so long.  Lied to everyone he knows.  Ultimately he got away with it.  Hurting her.  She probably forgave him.  Poor Jake.  His world split asunder.

Let’s feel sorry for the scum bag.  That doesn’t sound like I mean it? Ha!

I don’t want to be angry with him.  I really don’t.  It doesn’t get me anywhere.

Will you help me?  Can you all help?  We could pray for him, forgive him, wish him all the best.

I prefer this option.

My prayer, whenever I am forced to think about him:  God, please help Jake be happy, let him succeed, help him be truthful, make his dreams come true.

God, please let Jake find love, a healthy relationship, a sober life.

Amen.